I Want to Live in a Geodesic Dome
First published 10/7/1999

I want to live in a geodesic dome. OK? Is that so crazy?

Yes, a house is nice. I know a house can be nice. It’s nicer than living in a box, or in some kind of small mud hut. That’s not the point — I don’t want to live in a small mud hut. I want to live in a geodesic dome, OK?

The geodesic dome doesn’t necessarily have to rotate. If it did rotate, that might be good. Look, honestly, I’m pushing for it to rotate. But it doesn’t have to. Maybe my next geodesic dome can rotate. This is just a starter dome.

I don’t care what the neighbors say. Maybe they don’t like my dome. Tough! We’ll slap some paint on there, make it look cool. They’ll live with it. What are they going to do? The geodesic dome is composed of triangles — nature’s strongest shape. So I’d like to see them try to push it down.

Besides, my dome has windows. Obviously, it has windows. So I can see ’em coming. While they’re trying to sneak up on my hopefully-rotating geodesic dome, you know what I’m doing? I’m in there, looking out my windows, laughing at them. Come a little closer, you jackasses! Once I get this sucker spinning it’ll take the wind out of your sails!

I don’t know what kind of non-geodesic domes are on the market, but I’m not interested in them. Why? Because they’re not geodesic. If you’re going to live in a dome, I say, get a geodesic one. You owe it to yourself. A lot of people go out and get a non-geodesic sprayed concrete dome and — boy – what a mistake! Yeah, it’s got windows, and it’s a dome, sure, but when the neighbors comes to push it down you’re not laughing because it’s not composed of triangles — nature’s strongest shape.

Let me make this clear: I’m just talking about a dome here. I don’t need the full on Epcot Center-style geodesic sphere. I’m not hosting a World’s Fair. This isn’t a friggin’ IMAX theatre. This is my home we’re talking about! Let’s not be tacky.

And it doesn’t have lights all over it. It doesn’t light up. Yes, obviously, it might have lights on it at Christmas time. Sure! Just because I live in a dome doesn’t mean I’m a Scrooge. It’s just not going to have lights on it all the time. So if you’re thinking that, think again. This isn’t like one of those geodesic domes in the movies. This is real life.

It’s just a dome. A geodesic dome (with windows) that maybe spins, and there’s a garage too, and possibly a garden. Actually, scratch the garden because the neighbors are just stomping all over it while they gather parts for that slapped-together dome-busting machine they’re making.

Stupid neighbors! The geodesic dome was designed by Buckminster Fuller! BUCKMINSTER FULLER! You think you can outsmart Buckminster Fuller with your pathetic machine? Buckminster Fuller was designing over 300 inventions (including the geodesic dome, the minivan, and the prefab blimp-delivered treehouse) before you were born! Imbeciles!

Yeah, it makes both me and Buckminster Fuller a little sad inside that people don’t accept the geodesic dome. But that’s OK. Because my point is this: I want to live inside a geodesic dome. Is that so nuts?

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