I Know, Halloween Was Last Week
First published 11/5/1998

Like serial killers, people who dress up for Halloween fall into one of two categories: they're either organized or disorganized.

The organized ones are easy to spot. There's a vampire. There's a caveman. There's a ghost. Even if their costumes aren't very good, at least they're recognizable as something.

The disorganized ones are also easy to spot. There's a guy wearing a cowboy hat and glittery face paint. There's a guy with a pumpkin on his head wearing a trenchcoat. There's someone wearing a Ronald Reagan mask and a dress and his legs are painted green.

What are these people dressed as? Nobody knows. But they are dressed up. They're the People Who Didn't Have Costumes But Wore Costumes Anyway.

Then there are the cop-outs...

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