This is a Column
First published 3/3/1999

Note: for educational purposes, this column has been made out of translucent plastic, so that its inner workings are clearly visible.

Hey! Flippant opening comment! Strongest joke goes here!

This is the second paragraph. Explain the subject of the article, hopefully justifying the relevance of the opening joke. Build on the concept of the piece, giving information necessary for the audience to get...

The second big joke, which goes here! Now we're into the third paragraph. Have to set the readers up for the boring filler that goes in the middle. Talk talk talk. Hopefully most of this will get cut in a later draft.

Cheesy eighties reference substitutes for joke in this paragraph...

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