If I Call Bill Kurtis Crazy, Is That Libel?
First published 3/10/1999

I think Bill Kurtis is a big sick freak. You know who I'm talking about: the guy on A&E who walks around all day talking about serial murders. Murder, murder, murder. That's all he talks about. It's creepy.

I think Bill Kurtis is doing all those murders. How else does he know so much about it? He's done all these murders, and he's gotten away with it, and that's partly why he does those shows: to pin his murders on someone else. He's very clever, Bill Kurtis. Clever... but crazy!

They could put Bill Kurtis in jail, but what's the point? He's always there anyway, walking around in his suit, talking about DNA evidence and promising more juicy tidbits about some horrible grisly murder right after these commercials. I guess that's the ironic thing: technically, he's gotten away with all these crimes, but the fact of the matter is he's in jail all the time anyway. He just gets to wear his own clothes.

I don't know why insist on having so many murder shows on A&E. If you kill 32 people and chop them up and bury them in your basement, which is that: art or entertainment? Maybe they should rename A&E "The Arts and Entertainment and Horrible Grisly Pictures of Real People Actually Being Killed Network." But then, if they were really going to be honest...

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