Another Column About Pants
First published 1/28/1999

Dear Gap,

You can go ahead and sell your cargo pants. I don't care. I'm not going to wear them.

You know what kind of pants I'm talking about. The kind with the big extra pockets halfway down the legs. The kind that were popular about 1984-87. Those kind. You're selling them again. Cargo pants.

Advertise all you want. I know better. I'm not wearing cargo pants. Go ahead, show your ads with your Gap models dancing to swing music. Nice music, by the way -- tunes from the forties to sell pants from the eighties. Maybe next year you can use the New Romantics to sell zoot suits. I won't buy those either.

Does The Gap actually hire fashion designers anymore? Or do you just send people around to thrift...

To read the rest you have to buy the book!
The complete version of this and 99 other comedy articles is featured in:

Only US$9.95/CAN$14.95.
Order now! | More info.

Don't want a book? Keep browsing, Subatomic Humor has over 60 free complete articles...