If I were a Spice Girl
First published 1/29/1998

Yes, I could be a Spice Girl. I can dance. I can sing. And young girls look up to me (mostly because I'm taller than they are).

I would be called Beefy Spice, and I would take my Spice Girl duties very seriously. I would learn the words to all the Spice Girl songs; hits like Spice Spice Baby, Spice Me Up and, my personal favourite We're Not Gonna Take It.

I think I'd really compliment the other Spice Girls -- Baby and Sporty and Plinky and Goofy and Jenny and Spock. It's a shame they didn't ask me to join the band before they filmed Spice World because...

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